What does the product "Murine" say to you?

The other night I came up to bed. Rick was already there and when I walked into the room, I knew that something was wrong. His one eye was totally bloodshot.

Me: What the HELL happened to to your eye?

Rick: I put eardrops in it. I went to get eye drops for my itchy eyes and found a little bottle of Murine. I thought it was FREAKING eye drops but they were EAR DROPS! The bottle was the right shape, with a little dropper at the end. Since when does Murine make EAR DROPS??? It is PEROXIDE!!!

Me: Oh My God. Are you OK? Do we need to go to the hospital?

Rick: No, I managed to find some Visine and after carefully studying the label with my good eye, determined that it was safe to put in.

Me: lost it… absolutely hysterical, laughing

Rick: It’s NOT funny! It’s like someone giving you Aspirin and after you take two, you find out it is actually Aspirin brand Laxatives. sheesh…grumble grumble

Ah yes, the net of hazardgirl has been flung far and wide.

Gown and Gavel Rest In Peace

There was a local bar that was my home away from home from about the ages of 18 to 23. It was an English pub called the Gown and Gavel. The bar was in a converted house with another bar upstairs that played bands. It was a mix of alt-rock club and Olde English pub and I loved that place. Bad wallpaper, overstuffed red velvet chairs, old men and their small dogs, usually standing room only. Every time I went in, I was guaranteed to see someone that I knew and we could chat over a pint of Lime N’ Lager.  I got married, bought a house and grew up and the bar scene did not interest me as much. The Gown and Gavel became a thing of the past.

Recently, some friends and I went out for dinner and we decided to hit “The Gown” for old times sake. My first impression was that the bar was closed as it was so dark inside. We walked in and quickly realized that this bar was not the bar we used to go to. The overwhelming feeling was black walls and dark leather furniture. The bar was trying to look like a sophisticated club but was SATURATED with pretentious 20 year olds.

It was truly the end of an era.

How not to answer the phone-Part Deux

I work for a very small biotech company and whoever is closest answers the phone when it is ringing. My co-worker Janet and I sit very in a large open area and we deal with all customer inquiries, so we are usually answering the phone. The other day the phone was ringing and I shouted “I’ll get it” and proceeded to say “Company XYZ, Janet speaking. Oh no I mean Ada. Oh I am just looking at Janet..” as my voice trails off. Where the hell did that come from? Janet looked absolutely shocked and concerned, as if perhaps I had a seizure or a stroke (before she started laughing). Luckily the person at the other end was very understanding, realizing that occasionally, the brain stops working and one must work on auto-pilot. Unfortunately, my auto-pilot seemed to be on holiday and I was, perhaps, flying solo.

Janet claimed I should have run with it, nobody would ever know!