Today I had the indoctrination into old age. Yes, I had to have a colonoscopy.
I am really not that old but as my father died of colon cancer in his early 50’s, so my doctor wanted me to start being screened early.
The procedures are basically done in an assembly line at the hospital under a general anaesthetic. Waiting to be called in the tiny waiting room all I could think was “one of these things is not like the other!” as in, I am a cute young girl, and I am surrounded by croaking old – really old men.
So, I got called to my little tented pre-op/post-op space amongst all the other pajama partiers in which to change into a lovely gown — “open in the back” is what was barked at me by the nurse. Did I mention the chorus of farts going off in every direction!! Yes – farts!! Apparently they pump you up with air. This is just getting more horrific by the minute. Anyway, once dressed, off I was to “the room”.
As I am being wheeled back to my “slot” to wake up, past all the others waiting or recovering, apparently I attempted to sit up and exclaim “That was amazing!”. Except that it came out
“THHHAAATT WUZZ AMAAAAAZZHHINGG!!”
The Dr. without missing a beat said “well, that is one way to describe it”. Mortified is my middle name. Hazardgirl is my first name.
The prep, I was told didn’t “work” that well, so I have to go back in a year instead of five years. Crap. Really.
Yes I have joined!! I am stealing your hubby’s idea, hope he doesn’t mind!! I told my cousin about it and she suggested that I blog it…so that’s what I’m gonna do! So sorry to hear about your…colon adventures.
My sympathies, girlfriend. Same deal here (including father), so have been also subjected to the early probes.
My memory- which I wish I could forget- was the nice anaesthetist saying “You’ll just feel a little prick” to which my doped up mouth responded “I better not!” Ouch.